Sunday, May 30, 2010

Sita Sings the Blues

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Blow your mind, show you how to find

Friday, May 21, 2010

Yeah the free one....

Monday, May 10, 2010

Commence with the blaming

"And with iPods and iPads, and Xboxes and PlayStations -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation. So all of this is not only putting pressure on you; it's putting new pressure on our country and on our democracy." Barack Obama addressing Hampton University's graduating class.

The proper term is Infotainment (amnewsment being too damn hard to say apparently), and I personally thank Rupert Murdoch for his hard work in the continued degradation of information and news into another form of attention deficit encouraging entertainment, not Xbox, iphone or other devices.

I consider a device created for enhanced communication different than a device created primarily for the purpose of playing games. Sure the iphone plays games, but that is an aside to its primary function. Grouping all such devices into one generally admonishing statement is a misleading and superficial arguing point.

Saying the iphone and ipad turn information into a diversion is pretty much the same sort of non logic as claiming forks cause obesity. Curse you fork! If only we might rid the world of your pronged scourge we'd have no fat kids, chicks or dudes, anywhere, ever.

I like ridiculous the point of pride that somehow, the President doesn't know how to use a device (ipad) that a cat and a toddler can operate. Have you tried to use one, Mister President?

Iggy can work one

So can Ean

See?! It is that easy!

Granted, Iggy is a cat and responding to the random movement much as he would your sock-clad toes or a bird feeder outside the window filled with finch fury but it still proves you don't even need an opposable thumb to work this thing.

Meanwhile little Ean is being indoctrinated into brand recognition, consumer loyalty in effect rendering him a Disney consumer whore before he can even pronounce the words consumer or whore, more than he's educating himself.

Forks can put an eye out as well as cause obesity, and that really isn't the fork's fault. The fork is just a tool. A technological innovation which improved upon the pointed sticks and emancipated those who cannot use chopsticks from noodley hunger.
  • Televisions make crappy babysitters
  • for precious little snowflakes and the ipad is another facilitator so long as parents use it as a poor replacement for their role in raising a child, not a tool to enhance their own instruction.

    The iphone, ipad and other similar devices open up limitless opportunities in communication and education and equally limitless ways to waste time, but it's up to us as individuals what we do with such tools.


    Sunday, May 09, 2010

    Tea Batty

    I like bats but I love my spawn's enforced school project in appreciation of my fertile ovum meeting a winning spermatozoa in a romantically lit womb.

    First grade art, brought to you by Lydia who informed me those are indeed bats. "Because you love bats mommy."

    Yes, yes I do!


    A Happy Mother's Day means thank you more than once a year

    Even so, thank you for everything, without you we wouldn't be here now.

    Barbara Bradley

    Linda Kay Lipsey


    Vintage Gothic

    Whereupon I take an antique photograph I've had for years, scan it, then waste time playing with filters.



    Saturday, May 08, 2010

    The Black Rider or the Fatal Marksman

    Today on German Avant Garde Kabuki Theatre, Tom Waits' the Black Rider......

    There is a light in the forest
    There is a face in the tree
    I'll pull you out of the chorus
    And the first one's always free

    You can never go a-hunting
    With just a flintlock and a hound
    You won't go home with a bunting
    If you blow a hundred round

    It takes much more than wild courage
    Or you'll hit the tattered clouds
    You must have just the right bullets
    And the first one's always free

    You must be careful in the forest
    Broken glass and rusty nails
    If you're to bring back something for us
    I have bullets for sale

    Why be a fool when you can chase away
    Your blind and your gloom
    I have blessed each one of these bullets
    And they shine just like a spoon

    To have sixty silver wishes
    Is a small price to pay
    They'll be your private little fishes
    And they'll never swim away

    I just want you to be happy
    That's my only little wish
    I'll fix your wagon and your musket
    And the spoon will have it's dish

    And I shudder at the thought
    of your Poor empty hunter's pouch
    So I'll keep the wind from your barrel
    And bless the roof of your house


    Stew's Tattoos

    Better than a medic alert bracelet or pendant and a thousand times more awesome is the Medic Alert Tattoo


    Frida Trieste

    Fabric, acrylic, metallic ink and paper on a cheap wooden plaque. Gifted to Maria-Elena.


    I didn't have to ask


    When you coyly touch someone's nose, you must say "bing!". This is an unspoken law.

    It has always amazed me how one can feel like a sexy beast yet look about as far from sexy as possible.

    That beat, I cannot resist! I'll just throw my gun over here to co-mingle with the copious amounts of extension cords and mystery things bagged in black plastic while I strap on my steam driven testicular hoist and bust a move.

    Are those tow straps?

    A lacrosse helmet with shiny bows stuck to the top?

    Are those perhaps....reflective tow straps?

    What the hell is on that dartboard? I'm guessing it's
  • The Venus of Willendorf

  • That make the poison sandwich move never grows old.

    That lie on the floor convulsing (alright, doing 'dick-ups') while reverse straddled by a sparring partner shaking his ass like two cans of old paint being remixed at the hardware store because someone was too cheap to buy new paint move, will hopefully die in its infancy.

    Black pants = Sexy
    Waist high pants made from black painted cardboard = not sexy.

    Wait, is that Receiver Boy?! I thought he was killed in ep 47 by Power Sergio....

    What earns one the right to wear a pink Drama Queen sash in Afghanistan?

    Only those who can breech the defenses of Fortress Telephone shall win my heart!

    Thanks to Joss Whedon, blue latex gloves will always be creepy as fuck and thus decidedly UNsexy.


    Wednesday, May 05, 2010

    Because he doesn't suck

    Saturday, May 01, 2010

    Broken Doll

    Broken Doll (an alcoholic creation inspired by Joss Whedon's Dollhouse, created by Mister Andrew Bradley)

    1 oz. Mount Gay white rum
    1 oz. Mount Gay rum
    1 oz. Lemon Hart demerarra rum
    1/2 oz. Maraschino
    1/2 oz. amarretto
    2 oz. OJ
    1/2 oz. pineapple juice
    tiny splash of grenadine
    Shake with ice 15 seconds and pour into large rocks glass over fresh ice.
    Garnish with swizzle stick topped with small photos of Joss Whedon.

    Drink these until you fall asleep for a little while.

    [Dubious face appropriate as a swizzled warning, simply print, affix and enjoy]